Anyone who has, or has had a 2 or 3 year old will know what I'm talking about. I have had a really challenging few weeks with Lenny. A cocktail of pushing boundaries, a will of iron, a sudden boost in vocabulary and a slightly chaotic few weeks of moving and up rooting has made for some testing parenting. We have had rather too many temper tantrums, stamping of feet, growling in my face.... you get the picture.... I am a huge fan of the Time Out Step when it comes to discipline. He responds very well to being removed from a situation to calm down on a step but lately this has been failing me. My temper has been raging. I am knackered and very short tempered which is both ineffective and setting a very wrong example. I lash out right back at him and a little tussle often ends a full blown stand off. In truth, it is hard to tell who has been acting more like the toddler. A week ago I had a strong word with myself and vowed to
try to be more calm, supportive and generally a better Mum - I say
try as obviously there have been a few occasions where my innermost zen has failed me!! However, Lenny's behaviour as a result of this change in my reactions has made a drastic change for the better. He too is much more serene. The house is much more harmonious and everyone is much happier. Having spoken to a few friends with similar aged children I was lent a book called
The Parents Tao Te Ching - it is a dip in, dip out collection of advice on raising smalls. It will not be everyone's cup of tea but I have found some bits really helpful as a reminder of what is important when parenting. Here is a taster....
(pic sourced Moon and Trees)
Growing a Garden
Dealing with difficult children
is like watching a garden grow.
Resist the temptation
to pull up the plants
to check on the roots.
In difficult times
children may thrive on conflict.
If you take the bait
the battle rages.
Instead step back,
breath deeply,
relax,
and stay at your centre.
Battle requires two parties.
One fighting alone soon tires.
