Thursday, 16 October 2014

Take a Deep Breath

Anyone who has, or has had a 2 or 3 year old will know what I'm talking about. I have had a really challenging few weeks with Lenny. A cocktail of pushing boundaries, a will of iron, a sudden boost in vocabulary and a slightly chaotic few weeks of moving and up rooting has made for some testing parenting. We have had rather too many temper tantrums, stamping of feet, growling in my face.... you get the picture.... I am a huge fan of the Time Out Step when it comes to discipline. He responds very well to being removed from a situation to calm down on a step but lately this has been failing me. My temper has been raging. I am knackered and very short tempered which is both ineffective and setting a very wrong example. I lash out right back at him and a little tussle often ends a full blown stand off. In truth, it is hard to tell who has been acting more like the toddler. A week ago I had a strong word with myself and vowed to try to be more calm, supportive and generally a better Mum - I say try as obviously there have been a few occasions where my innermost zen has failed me!! However, Lenny's behaviour as a result of this change in my reactions has made a drastic change for the better. He too is much more serene. The house is much more harmonious and everyone is much happier. Having spoken to a few friends with similar aged children I was lent a book called The Parents Tao Te Ching - it is a dip in, dip out collection of advice on raising smalls. It will not be everyone's cup of tea but I have found some bits really helpful as a reminder of what is important when parenting. Here is a taster....

                                                                                                            (pic sourced Moon and Trees)

Growing a Garden

Dealing with difficult children
is like watching a garden grow.
Resist the temptation
to pull up the plants
to check on the roots.

In difficult times
children may thrive on conflict.
If you take the bait
the battle rages.
Instead step back,
breath deeply,
and stay at your centre.
Battle requires two parties.
One fighting alone soon tires.


  1. I could have written this post word for word.

    When you're stuck with them all day and irritated by their challenges, it's so easy to get wound up in their misbehavior. It's so incredibly frustrating. I do tend to bicker back a bit and enter the battle. I have to really remind myself to be the adult. The poem is perfect. Such a good reminder.

    Hope you're winning today!

  2. Ahhh thanks Vicki! Always so nice to hear other are in the same boat and I'm not floundering alone!! Ours is a TOUGH job. Of course, we wouldnt have it any other way but nonetheless!!! Hope you have a good day - we are off to sleep here! Louise XX